Video Krypt at 20,000 hits – and some of the weird shit people search to find us…

MBDCIKA EC019

Video Krypt has now reached 20,000 hits!  That’s enough people to fill Meadow Lane, the historic home of Notts County FC.  Judging by some of the terms people have searched to find us, it would be one of the weirdest home crowds in the Magpies’ 150 year history…

“Ben Stiller Tropic Thunder Shirtless” – Yes, someone out there apart from Ben Stiller’s wife thinks that Ben Stiller is a a hunk, and wants pictures of him without a top on.  So I hope whoever it was enjoyed my review of Tropic ThunderTropic Thunder – Get Some Again!

“Bane and Batman Hug” – I don’t remember that scene.  Perhaps it will appear in the director’s cut?  If so, I will need to revise my analysis of The Dark Knight Rises: The Legend Sort of Ends…
“Dave Thaine” – could this be one of my co-writers Googling himself? Video Krypt Introduces – Dave “Mr Holly” Thaine
“Clint Eastwood Hobbies” – Someone wanted to know what Clint does in his spare time, and thought Video Krypt would have the answers.  I’m not sure, but I think Werther’s Original might be involved these days.  Although Clint is such a double-hard bastard he probably crunches them rather than sucks them, straight out of the wrapper. Eastwood’s Sucker-Punching Title Shot.

Don’t you hate it when you get your favourite porn stars mixed up with legendary film directors?  So the one-handed typist who searched “Sunny Leone sucking dick” ended up appraising my analysis of the shootouts in For A Few Dollars More: Leone’s School of Showdowns.  I mean, who can tell the difference?

Sergio Leone?

Sergio Leone?

Sunny Leone?

Sunny Leone?

It always amuses me when someone obviously searching for smut lands on my blog, and I daydream about a five-knuckle-shuffler, with his trousers round his ankles, becoming so engrossed by my movie reviews that he stops rapping against the underside of his keyboard drawer and actually reads the whole article.

More disturbing is “Dragon Tattoo Anal Rape”, “Rape Video in Girl With Dragon Tattoo”, and variations on that term – sadly, I don’t think these people are using my Girl With the Dragon Tattoo rant (Rape Revenge Flick Meets Scooby Doo) as research for a thesis on sexual violence in 21st Century Cinema.  My only hope that these freaks share my blog with any non rape-fantasizing, movie-buff mates they may have before continuing on their trawl through the deeper dungeons of the internet.
“Peter Falk Pressure Point” – I’ve never heard of this film, so thought at first it might be one of Colombo’s celebrity villains looking for a way to thwart the insistent detective, and hope they enjoyed my Peter Falk Double Bill.
“Man Actors with Fickel on his face” – I thought at first this must relate to a type of dirty fun people of a German persuasion are renowned for enjoying, but I couldn’t find “Fickel” on Google Translate.  So I’ve got no idea what this guy wanted to find.
Lastly, my film comparison Cult Connections: Night of the Demon & The Wicker Man draws all sorts of bizarre searches.  “God detest pagan worshipping” – poor grammar makes it difficult to figure out whether this was meant as a question or a statement, and I particularly like “Christian people of all races worshipping in the background”.  If they’re talking about the final scene of Robin Hardy’s cult horror flick, then they really misunderstood the film – a bit like searching “Darth Vader Destroys Death Star.”
Thanks to everyone (apart from the rape fantasizers) for the reads!
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About leerobertadams

Lee is an English writer, blogger and film critic living in Brno, Czech Republic. When not watching and writing about movies, he loves football, reading, eating out, and enjoying his adopted home city with his girlfriend and baby daughter.

Posted on 02/04/2014, in blogging, Comedy, Entertainment, Film, Movies, Reviews, Wordpress and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

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